Family Services

The Farley Center at Williamsburg Place

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5477 Mooretown Rd, Williamsburg, VA 23188

The Farley Family Workshop

The Farley Center Business Offices 221 Bulifants Blvd. Unit B, Williamsburg, VA 23188

Farley Family Group Online

12pm Eastern every Friday – https://us06web.zoom.us/j/7572313345

Zoom Meeting ID: 757 2313345

  • The Neurobiology of Addiction Part I – 01/5/24
  • The Neurobiology of Addiction Part II – 01/12/24
  • Change, Expectations, Resentment, & Love – 01/19/24
  • The Unspoken Family Rules – 01/26/24
  • Addiction and Co-Occurring Disorders- 02/2/24
  • Family Roles & Trauma – 02/9/24
  • Feelings, Thoughts, and Behaviors – 02/16/24
  • Addiction Interactions – 02/23/24
  • Boundaries – 03/1/24
  • Identifying Codependency – 03/8/24
  • Expectations for Treatment and Recovery -03/15/24
  • Recovery, Fear, & Courage – 03/22/24
  • Communication & Family- 03/29/24
  • What is codependency? Do I have it? 04/5/24
  • The Unspoken Family Rules -04/12/24
  • Family Roles & Trauma -04/19/24
  • Boundaries -04/26/24
  • The Neurobiology of Addiction Part I – 05/3/24
  • The Neurobiology of Addiction Part II -05/10/24
  • Family & Expectations – 05/17/24
  • Trauma and Codependency- 05/24/24
  • Affirmations and CBT – 05/31/24

Family Counselor

Jessica Swan, MCJ, MAC* Jessica.swan@farleycenter.com 757.231.3345

720.412.1300

From the Farley Family to Your Family:

Welcome to the Farley Family Workshop

The Farley Family Workshop is a two-day weekend workshop for loved ones affected by substance use disorders (also called addiction or SUD). The workshop provides education on addiction, helps you identify how you have been affected by the disease, and offers a space to begin healing from those effects. We will help you to discover and explore your behaviors, attitudes, and feelings, and learn new skills and healthy responses to a new addiction recovery environment.

Addiction is a chronic brain disease that impacts everyone whose lives are touched by it. As the disease progresses, the attitudes and behaviors of the person with SUD dramatically change. Often, loved ones also experience dramatic changes in their own attitudes and behaviors due to the progression of the disease. We all need the opportunity to heal and grow as we enter addiction recovery. Research shows a 50% increase in long-term recovery rates for patients with SUD when family members attend family recovery programs, just like the one we offer. This is why it is so important for you to participate!

We welcome all family members and friends, ages 13 and above, of patients of the Farley Center or other Summit Behavioral Health programs in Virginia, to attend the Farley Family Workshop.

There is no additional cost for 2 loved ones to participate, as the cost is included as a part of the patient’s treatment.

We want you to have a meaningful experience. Some guideposts for your time at the workshop include:

 Understand the neurobiology of addiction Learn to recognize the symptoms of addiction and understand that the disease is chronic, progressive, and often fatal when left untreated.

Breakthrough the denial Accept that addiction affects the entire family, and you have the chance to grow your awareness of behaviors and attitudes. Learn the difference between supporting recovery vs. enabling the disease.

Embrace self-acceptance Discover your feelings and needs. Recognize that much of this has been ignored to focus attention on the person with addiction.

Commit to a family recovery plan Get involved by attending the weekly family group online or going to your own 12 step meetings or other support groups. Try out therapy for additional support. Find your own healing as a part of this work. Develop your own recovery plan.

Farley Family Workshop Schedule

2024 Schedule:

The Farley Center Family Workshop | January 6 -7

Join us at The Farley Center Family Workshop for a two-day intensive – an enriching and educational program for loved ones who have SUD.

The Farley Center Family Workshop | January 20 – 21

Join us at The Farley Center Family Workshop for a two-day intensive – an enriching and educational program for loved ones who have SUD.

The Farley Center Family Workshop | February 3 – 4

Join us at The Farley Center Family Workshop for a two-day intensive – an enriching and educational program for loved ones who have SUD.

The Farley Center Family Workshop | February 24 – 25

Join us at The Farley Center Family Workshop for a two-day intensive – an enriching and educational program for loved ones who have SUD.

The Farley Center Family Workshop | February March 9-10

Join us at The Farley Center Family Workshop for a two-day intensive – an enriching and educational program for loved ones who have SUD.

The Farley Center Family Workshop | February March 30 – 31

Join us at The Farley Center Family Workshop for a two-day intensive – an enriching and educational program for loved ones who have SUD.

Agenda

Saturday

8:30-9:00am                                                                Registration

9:00-10:00am                                                              Introduction

Understanding Group Dynamics & Expectations Sharing

10:15                                                                           Break

10:30am                                                                      Neurobiology of Addiction

12:00pm-1:00pm                                                        Lunch

1:00pm-2:00pm                                                          Codependency & Trauma

2:15pm                                                                        Break

2:30pm                                                                        Boundaries, Enabling, and Helping

3:00pm                                                                        Communication

3:30pm                                                                        Break

3:45pm                                                                        Family Recovery & Planning

4:45pm                                                                        Review & Assignment Work

Sunday

8:30am-9:00am                                                          Check-In

9:30am-10:45am                                                        Communication Exercises Break-Out Groups

10:45am-11:00am                                                      Break

11:00am                                                                      Boundaries Sharing Break-Out Groups

11:30pm                                                                      Large Group Share Out

12:00pm-1:00pm                                                        Lunch

1:00-2:00pm                                                                Recovery Plan Sharing Break Outs

2:00-2:30pm                                                                Review, Takeaways, & Share Out

2:30-3:00pm                                                                Coin Out & Closing

Resources

Family Recovery Book List

  • We have compiled a book list to provide you with some resources and support.
  • Addict In the Family Revised: Stories of Loss, Hope, and Recovery, By Beverly Conyers
  • Adult Children of Alcoholics, By Janet Geringer Woititz
  • Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change, By Jeffrey Foote, Carrie Wilkens, and Nicole Kosanke, with Stephanie Higgs
  • Blueprint for Progress, By AL-Anon Family Groups
  • Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up’s Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents, by Nina W Brown 
  • Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending America’s Greatest Tragedy, By David Sheff
  • Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself By Melody Beattie
  • Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to set boundaries and make your life your own, by Karen Casey
  • Codependents Anonymous, CoDA, Third Edition, Co-Dependents Anonymous
  • Courage to Change, Al-Anon
  • Facing Codependence, By Pia Mellody
  • Freedom from Toxic Relationships By Avril Carruthers
  • How AlAnon Works: for Families & Friends of Alcoholics, Al-Anon Family Programs
  • In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want by Iyanla Vanzant
  • Leave No One Behind: Daily Meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery By Anonymous, Hazelden Publishing 
  • Recovery 2.0, Tommy Rosen
  • Sane: Mental illness, addiction and the 12 steps, Marya Hornbacher
  • The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Bessel Van Der Kolk
  • The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown
  • The Feeling Good Handbook By David Burns
  • The Five Things We Cannot Change…and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them by David Richo
  • The Science of Addiction, 2nd Edition By Carlton K. Erickson
  • Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men By Anonymous, Hazelden Publishing
  • Toxic Parents: Overwhelming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life By Susan Forward
  • Unwelcome Inheritance: Break Your Family’s Cycle of Addictive Behaviors By Lisa Sue Woititz, Janet Woititz, Ed.D.
  • When Things Fall Apart  By Pema Chadron

Resources for More Support

Recovery Groups

12-Steps

Adults

  • Al-Anon https://al-anon.org
  • ACA: Adult Children of Alcoholics https://adultchildren.org
  • Alcoholics Anonymous https://aa.org
  • Families Anonymous https://familiesanonymous.org

Adolescents

NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness

Other

For Children

Therapy

Look for the following credentials depending on your needs.

  • Individual therapy: LSATP, CSAC, MAC, LCSW, LPC
  • Couples: LMFT, LSATP, MAC, MSW, PsyD
  • Family: LMFT, LSATP, MAC, MSW, PsyD
  • Children: PsyD, MSW, LP, LPC, LCSW

Children’s Book List

Preschool to Second Grade – Ages 4-8

Up and Down the Mountain: Helping Children Cope with Parental Alcoholism

Many times, children living with a parent addicted to drugs or alcohol blame themselves for the problems that exist in their home. They feel that somehow, they are the cause of all the misery and unhappiness. Author Pamela Leib Higgins shows that the problems in the household are not their fault and provides hope for a positive outcome.

I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much

In her book, Judith Vigna tells the story of a young girl who learns, with the help of her mother and an older friend, to cope with her father’s drinking. The book shares the girl’s disappointments, frustrations, and feelings while emphasizing that the problem is not the girl’s fault.

Think of the Wind

Written from the perspective of a young boy, Catherine Mercury compares living with a parent with a substance addiction to the wind. The child doesn’t know how to explain the wind, but he knows it’s there, and the same holds true about the parent. The book helps children understand that they are not alone in a way that is not judgmental.

“My Dad Loves Me, My Dad Has a Disease” A Child’s View of Living with Addiction

Claudia Black wrote this book from the standpoint that addiction is a disease and that although a person suffering from addiction may do bad things, the person is not bad. This book helps the child work through their feelings of frustration, loneliness, and fear.

A Terrible Thing Happened: A Story for Children That Have Witnessed Violence or Trauma

When a child suffers from a traumatic event, whether it is from addiction in the home or another cause, they are often unable or unwilling to talk about it. Author Margaret M. Holmes tells the story of Sherman Smith,

who saw a terrible thing happen. Throughout the book the actual event is never disclosed, leaving it open for the reader to relate Sherman’s experience to their own personal traumatic event.

When a Family is in Trouble: Children Can Cope with Grief from Drug and Alcohol Addiction

Written in a simple style that a young child can understand, Marge Heegaard provides answers to the basic questions a child has about substance addiction. Healthy coping skills are encouraged.

Mommy’s Disease: Helping Children Understand Alcoholism

Carolyn Hannan Bell tells the story of a little girl who thought she was responsible for her mother’s strange actions. Her father explains that her mother has a disease called alcoholism. He helps her understand the addiction and fosters a feeling of peace, so she can have a healthy childhood.

Wishes and Worries: Coping with a Parent Who Drinks Too Much Alcohol

Written by professionals at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, this book tells the story of a father who drinks too much and how much his family wishes he would stop. It explores all the feelings and emotions the family experiences. It is an excellent resource to begin a conversation on the topic between an adult and a child.

Daddy Doesn’t Have to Be a Giant Anymore

Narrated by a little girl, Jane Resh Thomas tells the story of a father that was happy and light-hearted when he wasn’t drinking and turns into a very scary different person after drinking whiskey while hiding in the garage. The little girl explains how they helped her father get treatment after a family intervention.

Grades 3 to 7 – Ages 8-13

Emmy’s Question

Written by Jeannine Auth, this book tells the story of a young girl who just wants to live a normal life. Instead, she lives with her alcoholic mother and tries to hide her mother’s drinking from everyone. Emmy uses her diary to tell of her loneliness and disclose her hurt and true feelings.

An Elephant in the Living Room the Children’s Book

This book by Jill M. Hastings and Marion H. Typpo helps children understand the problem of drug or alcohol addiction. It helps them learn how to cope with their feelings and problems that arise when a parent or sibling has a substance use disorder.

Fresh Fables: The Dragon Who Lives at Our House – A Story of What It Feels Like to Lose Control Of our Life Elaine Mitchell Palmore tells the story of Al the Dragon. Al was very welcome at all family functions, but soon Dad became too fond of Al and became consumed by him. Dad went for treatment and Al the Dragon became smaller and the family had hope again. This child-friendly book easily explains the devastation that can be caused by drug or alcohol addiction.

Waiting for Normal

Leslie Connor tells the story of a 12-year-old girl who struggles with living with her neglectful mother and her problems. It is a story of resilience and perseverance as the child finds hope in the people around her.

Different Like Me: A Book for Teens Who Worry About Their Parent’s Use of Alcohol/Drugs

In this book, Evelyn Lelite and Pamela Espeland explain drug and alcohol addiction and what happens to people who become addicted. It includes advice for children of alcohol or drug dependent parents regarding how to handle certain situations when they arise. The book also clears up misconceptions about drugs and drug use.

Easter Ann Peters’ Operation Cool

Jodie Lamb tells the story of a 7th-grade girl who is finally becoming a “cool” kid. But at the same time, her mother’s drinking is out of control and the girl does everything she can to hide her mother’s drinking from the residents of their small town. This book explains how quickly things can spiral out of control, while showing that it is alright to tell someone and get help.

I Can Talk About What Hurts: A Book for Kids in Homes Where There’s Chemical Dependency

Written by Janet Sinberg and Dennis Daley, this book explores the interactions, feelings, and emotions of children and teenagers living in a home where a parent or other family member has a substance abuse addiction. They learn it is okay to seek help and talk about their feelings, fears, and worries.

Understanding Addiction and Recovery Through a Child’s Eyes: Hope, Help, and Healing for Families

Put together by Jerry Moe, this book is a collection of anecdotes and stories of teens and children living with a loved one’s addiction. He shows how using various techniques and tools can help with the healing process.

These are simple coping skills Mr. Moe has used during his career as an addiction professional.

Tall Tales

Karen Day tells the story of Meg, a young girl whose family has been forced to move many times because of her father’s alcoholism. Meg finally finds a real friend but finds herself lying to her to cover up her father’s addiction. The book relays the power of telling the truth, which leads to getting help for her father and the rest of the family.

Books for Teenagers – (ages 14-19)

For Teenagers Living with a Parent Who Abuses Alcohol/Drugs

This is a non-fiction book by Edith Lynn Hornik-Beer that answers the many questions asked by teenagers about drug and alcohol addiction. Originally published in 1974, parts of the book may seem somewhat outdated. However, it does give straightforward answers to the timeless questions about addiction.

Alateen: Hope for Children of Alcoholics

This book from Al-Anon Family Groups Headquarters contains many personal and powerful stories from teens. They tell of their feelings and experiences of having a parent addicted to drugs or alcohol. The book also serves as a great introduction to the help offered by Alateen and Al-Anon meetings.

FAMILIES ANONYMOUS™ TWELVE STEPS

We have found that our success in this program is determined by how well we accept and apply the following suggested Steps:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over drugs and other people’s lives—that our lives had become unmanageable.
  1. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to
  1. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood
  1. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of
  1. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our
  1. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of
  1. Humbly asked Him to remove our
  1. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them
  1. Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  1. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted
  1. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that
  1. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

MEET OUR STAFF

Jessica Swan, MCJ, MAC, LSATP, CAS has extensive experience in clinical addiction counseling, research, development, and writing curriculum and reports for nonprofits, governmental agencies, and communities across the nation.

For more information, contact Jessica Swan, at Jessica.swan@farleycenter.com.