Have you ever noticed that some people have trouble keeping their opinions to themselves when they don’t care for something you like?
For example, maybe you say you like Star Trek, and they tell you all the reasons Star Trek is dumb and Star Wars is better.
Or maybe you say you love to go bowling, and they tell you all the ways bowling is silly and pickleball is great.
Or maybe you mention that you really enjoy jigsaw puzzles, and they tell you jigsaws are a waste of time and the real puzzlers do the crossword.
Or maybe you have, on occasion, belittled something someone else enjoys before talking up something you enjoy as a better alternative.
This behavior can be described as “yucking someone’s yum”—and it can be needlessly aggressive. It can also chip away at the foundations of a person’s recovery from a substance use disorder.
Having a Hobby or Interest Supports Your Recovery
One of the most important things you can do in recovery is find ways to relax and recharge so that the stresses of everyday life do not undermine your recovery efforts. For many people, that means finding a hobby that they find truly engaging.
We would argue that there are only two rules when it comes to finding this hobby. First, it should have absolutely nothing to do with drugs or alcohol or your previous use of substances. Second, you should put time to engage with your hobby into your calendar so that you remember that this time for yourself is as important as the time you give to your various other responsibilities.
That’s it. Those are the only rules. There is certainly no rule that anyone else understands or enjoys your hobby (though if you can find a community of like-minded hobbyists, that can be a wonderful thing). And there is certainly no rule that says you have to listen to anyone’s negative opinion about your hobby.
That’s Right. Anything Goes.
Collect stamps or baseball cards or Taylor Swift variant albums or whatever (while keeping an eye on your budget). Go geocaching or hiking or kite flying or what have you. Research the history of your favorite sports team, your favorite television show or movie, your family tree, or anything else that sparks your interest. Read novels or histories or memoirs or poems or anything at all.
We cannot emphasize this enough: Your hobby or interest is for you. As long as you enjoy it and it helps you recharge and lower your stress levels, it is a wonderful thing.
So what should you do when someone is yucking your yum? You can ignore them. Or you can gently call them out and remind them that your hobby is yours and that it does not really matter whether they think it is a worthwhile endeavor or not. You probably do not want to make more of the situation than it warrants, but it is perfectly okay to ask someone to keep their opinions about what you enjoy to themselves.
Trying Not to Yuck Anyone Else’s Yum
Just as we have encouraged you not to listen to anyone who tries to yuck your yum, we also encourage you not to be the person who does the yucking.
When someone shares their enthusiasms with you, resist the urge to criticize them or to try to explain why something you like is better. Instead, try asking them why they love the thing they love. That is far kinder—and you may discover that something you thought was a little dumb is actually quite interesting. Even if you don’t, you will have learned something new about the person you are interacting with—and you will have given them the opportunity to talk about something that is important to them.
It is simply true that each and every one of us could benefit from more kindness in our lives. Giving and receiving kindness is also a wonderful way for a person in recovery from a substance use disorder to shore up their efforts to leave drugs or alcohol in the past.
We Can Help You Leave Drugs or Alcohol Behind
When you are struggling with a substance use disorder, odds are you are not getting much enjoyment out of life. As your mental and physical health deteriorate, it gets harder and harder to keep up with your responsibilities, let alone participate in hobbies you enjoy. Your relationships start to fall apart, your financial well-being may well be in danger, and your substance use could even lead to injury or death—yours or someone else’s.
Fortunately, however, help is available. At The Farley Center—located in Williamsburg, Virginia—we help individuals reclaim and rebuild their lives. We offer medically supervised detoxification so that you can get drugs or alcohol out of your system in a safe and temptation-free environment. Our rehabilitation program prepares you to return to your daily life while maintaining your recovery. And our commitment to ongoing care means you will continue to have access to support and resources as your recovery journey gets underway.
Let’s face it: A substance use disorder is yuck, not yum. Let us help you make the change you need to make to reset your life.
