In a recent blog post, we considered two types of people: those who support your recovery from a substance use disorder and those who do not. It will come as no surprise that our advice was to maximize the time you spend with folks who support your recovery and minimize the time you spend with those who don’t.
We stand by that advice—and we want to reinforce one of our key points. It turns out that some people in recovery find themselves spending quite a lot of time alone for one reason or another. Maybe they feel ashamed of their behavior while they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Maybe they are dealing with a mental health disorder like depression or anxiety that can make it hard to be social. Maybe they think shutting themselves off from the rest of the world much of the time is the best way to protect their hard-won recovery.
The reality, however, is that none of those reasons or their underlying causes or thought patterns actually serve you well in recovery. Loneliness is actually the enemy of recovery—and that is why it is so important that you choose your friends and supportive family wisely and then actually make the effort to spend time with those folks.
Again, this is slightly different from taking a list of the people in your life and dividing them into “supportive” and “unsupportive” categories. This is about making sure that you are intentionally making time to enjoy the company of those who end up on the supportive side of the ledger. It is the difference between knowing, for example, that ibuprofen might relieve the headache you are experiencing and taking the medication.
Let’s take a look at how a healthy social life supports your recovery.
Spending Too Much Time in Your Own Head
In the early days after you return to your daily life after getting treatment for a substance use disorder, you may find yourself feeling a lot of regret or trepidation about connecting with people again. And that might lead you to spending a lot of time on your own.
That time alone, however, is unlikely to lead you into many positive states of mind. Instead, you might find yourself persistently replaying negative incidents from your past or worrying about whether you will be able to keep your recovery intact in the future. Those kinds of thoughts can lead to worsening symptoms of depression or anxiety—and put your recovery at risk. It might come to seem as though the only way to quiet the regret and the worry is to turn back to drugs or alcohol.
Fortunately, a return to substance use is not the only way to address those feelings. You could, for example, engage in mindfulness practice or take up yoga as strategies for keeping your thoughts in the present. We are certainly proponents of those things.
But sometimes—indeed, many times—the best way to get out of your own head is to spend time with others. Call a friend, gather a group to play a game, head out on a hike with family members, or grab a cup of coffee with someone you have not seen in a while. Any of these activities and plenty more besides can offer you the chance to shift your focus while you enjoy the company of others.
We would encourage you to get some social interaction into your calendar on a regular basis. After all, your calendar is where you keep track of all your important appointments and the like. We would argue that spending relaxing, enjoyable time with others counts among those important appointments because it goes a long way toward supporting your ongoing recovery.
A Note for Introverts in Recovery
We want to acknowledge that not everyone is equally comfortable in social situations. While the world seems to be largely built around the preferences of extroverts, there are plenty of introverts who find too much time spent with too many people simply exhausting—or even a cause of ongoing anxiety. That discomfort and anxiety are, of course, as negative for your recovery as feelings of loneliness are.
If you yourself are an introvert, you are probably already well aware of what level and frequency of social interaction works best for you. If so, our advice from above still stands: schedule some time to spend with your close friends in situations that are within your comfort zone. Doing so offers you the same benefits that extroverts get from hanging out with others. The difference is one of degree.
The Farley Center Is Here for You
Located in Williamsburg, Virginia, The Farley Center is focused on helping individuals overcome substance use disorders and co-occurring mental health disorders. If you are struggling with drugs or alcohol, we can help via our medically supervised detoxification program and a robust rehabilitation approach built around individual and group therapy. We also provide ongoing support and resources for those who have been through our treatment program, which means you can start your recovery journey with confidence.
When you are ready, we are here to help. You don’t have to go it alone.
